The perfect fucking gift
Looking for an unforgettable gift for your asshat friends? Don’t settle for a shitty sweater or cheap booze. You’re fucking better than that. And your friends deserve only the very cheapest. Get your shit together and blow them away with some FUCKING BALLOONS. (See what we did there?)
Remarkably fucking easy to use
We’re talking about FUCKING BALLOONS here, fuckers. How hard can it be to use them? No matter how drunk and/or high on crack and cocaine you may be, you’ll still manage to blow them up. (We are not saying you should take crack, coke or any other illegal drug. We just assume you do.)
Big fucking hole
(That’s what she said.) The big hole is uniquely engineered to not only let air go through, but to let lots of air.
Simple fucking design
The design was developed by our experts (a group of very talented chimpanzees) to bring you the best user experience in every possible situation.
Beautiful fucking colors
Triple fucking rainbow mothaaafuckaaaaaaas. But what does it mean?
Can I order one design only?
No, you can’t. One order contains all 12 designs. All those designs will be shipped to you. The reason we decided to do it this way is that we are high as fuck and would mess up the counting.
Will you ship outside of Europe?
We're looking into shipping our balloons to the furthest fucking corner of the world.
Why do you use so many F-bombs?
Fuck you. That’s why.
What is this? I fucking forgot.
It’s fucking balloons that you can order and give to your fucking friends and loved ones. Now fucking order.
Why only PayPal?
It's fucking 2017! That's why!